"Lying by omission, otherwise known as exclusionary detailing, is lying by either omitting certain facts or by failing to correct a misconception"
"In the case of the former, an example of this would be a car salesmen claiming a car to have amazing fuel economy while neglecting to mention that it has no engine and is completely immobile.
In the case of the latter, it could be a situation in which a misconception exists that the claimant is aware of but fails to correct, such as a person who wanders around a hospital dressed as a doctor, offering treatment while failing to mention that she is in fact just getting a kick out of pretending to be a doctor."
Excerpt from <http://rationalwiki.org>
Purpose of Exposing Lying by Omission
We all, at one point in our lives, all have done it. Omitting the truth.
For the purpose of persuasion, you shouldn't generally lie. But if you must, do it for good reasons (ex. save lives)
As a student of persuasion, you must know when someone is trying to manipulate through lying by omission with evil intent. So you can protect other people.
Dr. Simon's Book
From the book of Dr. Simon "Dealing With Manipulative People" he talks about how manipulators use this for their own self interest.
"Manipulators are often quite skilled in the various ways to deceive, con, and otherwise lie. One of the most subtle but yet effective ways to lie is lying by omission. A very skilled manipulator might even recite a litany of very true facts but then (possibly unbeknownst to you) deliberately leave out a key detail that would shed an entirely new light on the reality of a situation. All of this is done for the purposes of impression management and outcome manipulation."
Example of Lying by Omission
"An incarcerated female criminal offender put in an “emergency” request to see the consulting physician.
She told him that she had been treated for “anxiety” and “depression” in the free world but that no anti-anxiety or antidepressant medication had been prescribed for her since arriving at the prison (true fact).
She rattled off the names of several persons she knew who had been prescribed medicine, whereas she had not (again, true facts). She stated that was being discriminated against because she had filed an official grievance (it was factual that she had filed a grievance).
She painted a picture of a hurting, unfairly treated person with a serious condition who only wanted help but was denied. She was the victim, the “corrupt system” was the victimizer (playing the victim role is an effective tactic in itself). The consulting physician was unfamiliar with treating individuals with severe disturbances of character.
When the physician consulted with the rest of the staff, she was leaning toward prescribing medication to this inmate. He then learned what the inmate “left out” of the story. She had been to many clinics (i.e. “doctor-shopping”) in the free world and along the way managed to score many different diagnoses and abusable drugs until the medical community in and around her town became aware of her game.
She didn’t say that she had been given two independent and complete psychiatric evaluations, with both psychiatrists deeming she had no true mental illness (unusually, she even had no chemical addiction issues of her own - her criminal ”business” was dealing in abusable prescription drugs) but was merely trying to secure drugs she could sell even in prison.
In fact, she had been caught selling drugs she entered the prison with and that was one of the many reasons she was screened so carefully with regard to any possible real need for them.
It was also no accident that this inmate put in her “emergency” request on a day that she found out that a consulting physician who had never consulted to the prison before would be on duty."
"This particular case illustrates not only how subtle and crafty lying can be, especially when the main technique is omission, but also how convincing and unnerved a liar can be while exercising his or her craft. A good “con” can get the better of anyone. They paint the picture they want you to see. If you look no further, you’re likely to be duped."
How To Catch A Lie by Omission
Listen How Much They Say
If they're not saying much about something, they may be lying to you. Unlike a person who lie by commission (who use more words than necessary), a person who lies by omission use fewer words and shorter sentences that truth tellers.
Ask Help To Understand Better
If you think that you are dealing with someone who is lying by omission, state the following.
"Sorry, can you help me understand the whole picture here? I feel I'm missing out on something..."
This is a great way of NOT accusing them directly to avoid them being defensive. And at the same time you can observe how they react to it. Whether they quickly dismiss your request or divert the topic on other things (signs of guilt). Or are they interested in helping you out better understand things.
Watch For Personal Distancing
One tip from uncommonhelp.me site is to check for "distancing" language.
People will tend to distance themselves from lies by referring to themselves less when they're telling them.
The liar may use fewer personal pronouns like: "me, I, myself, and mine". So if someone were to lie to you that the home-knitted trousers you made them for Christmas are just the ticket, they might say something like: "Yes, they're lovely. How did you find time to make them? They'll be very useful for impressing people at important social events!" Notice that they didn't refer to themselves at all here.
Someone who genuinely likes your arty-crafty gift might say: "I really love them. I can't wait to wear them tonight at the charity ball! They really suit me." Here, the person associates themselves much more with what they are saying and also uses emotional words to express their connection to what they're telling you.
See more at: http://www.uncommonhelp.me
Don't Ask Probing Questions
From truthaboutdeception.com site, they highlighted common pitfalls of trying to discover the truth. The interrogation style of questioning is not effective especially if you are dealing with someone who omits information.
Asking probing questions often helps the person who might be lying – it gives them feedback and be on guard. Asking such questions only tips one’s hand – it reveals that you are suspicious.
And if a husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is actually lying, now they can adjust their behavior to appear more honest. When it comes to detecting deception, asking probing questions helps liars more than it helps those seeking the truth.
Excerpt <http://www.truthaboutdeception.com>
There are many people who are easily persuaded by manipulators, making them believe that something is the truth because the manipulator withhold critical information. It is your job to be objective as possible. Remove any preconceived idea that may have been implanted by the manipulator.
Be on the look out for these tell-tale signs of a manipulator who is lying by omission.
Contributed by JaysonSM
