Sometimes The Best Way To Change People's Minds Is To Be Mean
Contrary to the above video of looking at other people's point of view to change their mind, sometimes it is better to be mean. Rather than being "nice", understanding and diplomatic in your communication, it is better to show authority and that you are serious about what you want them to do. By being mean, you show confidence, power and authority... for most people these traits are attractive and commands respect.
Esther Inglis-Arkell from i09.com shows an experiment that proves this.
"So you want people to believe what you believe, but you lack the Machiavellian finesse to spin them in a fine web of deceit and bring them around to your point of view. No problem! The concept behind this is called "forced compliance," and it was investigated by Philip Zimbardo, of Stanford Prison Experiment fame.
In 1965, Zimbardo did an interesting little experiment that involved getting people to eat fried grasshoppers. Being a psychologist, he realized that he could get students to torture their fellows, and to submit to being tortured, but not to eat gross things, so he picked army reservists for subjects.
The experiment was framed, in a message given to the subjects, as a way to test the average person's reaction to the kind of foods that a soldier might have to eat in the field.
For half the subjects, the message was delivered by a friendly man who treated those around him with courtesy and respect. The other half received the explanation by way of a man who treated his own assistant with obvious contempt. (The assistant helped him out in this by "accidentally" bringing eels the first time around, instead of grasshoppers.) Sometimes, the soldiers were offered 50 cents a bug, and sometimes they were asked to eat bugs for free.
Zimbardo had a feeling that the subjects would not be warmed by the friendly tone of a man telling them to eat bugs. Their opinion would also not be brightened by flinging two quarters at them for every exoskeleton they crunched through. He was right. People preferred grasshoppers when they were pressured to eat them for no money by a rude man."
Excerpt from <http://io9.com>
Change People’s Minds with Just This POWERFUL Question
This is an interesting technique from Kurian M. Tharakan,, wherein you ask "how" questions so you have a more likely chance to change other people's mind. As I try to understand this technique, it is like subtly raising doubts in the mind of the person you are talking to. Planting the seed of doubt in their minds that they actually do not know what they believe in. Here's an excerpt.
"Want to know how to persuade even the most obstinate, unyielding, and immovable person? The answer lies in the concept of the Illusion of Explanatory Depth.
In 2002, Yale Psychology researchers Leonid Rozenblit and Frank Keil published a paper where they described the phenomenon. One of the central points in the paper was that people often confuse their familiarity with an everyday object with their understanding of how that object works."
So instead of asking...
- Why do you think that a Manager's job is easy? (thinking he just orders people around)
Instead ask these...
- How do you think a Manager do his workplan within budget and schedule? What are the steps he takes?
- How does a Manager exactly manages conflicts. Ex. client demands vs constraints.
"Asking about the HOWs allows you to expose people’s Illusion of Explanatory Depth. By identifying these knowledge gaps you will be in a better position to open their minds to change.
Here are some questions to ask to set the stage:
• How would that work?
• What are the steps involved in getting that done?
• Explain what you mean by ___________.
• How would that impact ___________?
Each of these questions get people to go past WHY they feel a certain way, and get to the practical reality of HOW something does or does not work."
You can read more from <http://strategypeak.com>
