How To Handle Office Bullies
10:35 AM
Dan O'Connor is one of my favorite communication expert. I'm following his YouTube channel wherein he provides great and practical tips on difficult situations requiring good communication skills. I suggest you follow him as well.
Below are some of the best tips I've gathered from the web on how to handle office bullies like a pro MMA office fighter!
Assess the Problem
Take your time before you brand the offending person a bully. If the 'aggression' or irrational behaviour is a one-off incident, it's best to ignore the behaviour.
'Do not jump to conclusions. Analyse the issue before calling the individual a bully,' says Gaurav Singh Kushwaha, CEO and founder of BlueStone.com. 'Some office bullies suffer from superiority issues; others have a deep-rooted insecurity,' he adds.
Excerpt from <http://economictimes.indiatimes.com>
Below is a good advice. I have in my email, one folder wherein I put copies of emails that I can use as evidence of the bullying behavior. You might also want to install an easy to start recording app on your smartphone. Practice discreetly starting the recording. There may be laws on this so check out your local laws about recording without consent.
Document the Behavior
Though negative behavior shouldn’t have a place in the office, it’s possible that your boss or coworker had an outburst or sent a condescending email because they were having a bad day.
But if these outbursts or emails or inappropriate behaviors are ongoing, be sure to make note of that! Like, literally make a note of it. Document every email, every inappropriate comment, even every sideways glance in a file—digital or on paper, but preferably one that your colleague can’t easily find.
Should you ever need to share what’s happening with someone else (such as your boss’ boss or your HR manager), it’s important that you have documented specific dates and details related to the problematic behavior. Not only will this act as proof of your mistreatment, but it will prove a pattern of inappropriate behavior (as opposed to a one-off incident) that shouldn’t be tolerated by any organization.
Read more from <http://theeverygirl.com>
Teach people how you want to be treated. You want to stop bad behaviors from recurring, then you need to stop rewarding the bullying (by standing down) and start to show that you just don't stand your ground but you advance and escalate if needed.
Confront The Bully
“Start trying to solve the problem yourself. Bullies, they want to be confronted they want to have the advantage by getting you off-guard in front of other people. And often they’re cowards themselves,” she notes. “So having the courage to confront them privately in a respectful, professional manner may often nip the problem in the bud.”
Yet if you try the private approach and it fails to solve the problem, Dillion says you can then kick it upstairs or try in public.
Clark notes there is one exception to settling an argument in private. “If there is a factual dispute, that’s something you should address promptly and right there,” she notes. “If somebody’s in a meeting and they say, ‘You promised me the report last Tuesday and you never sent it’, you don’t want to let that go unchallenged because that will then stand as the truth.”
See more from <http://www.itworld.com/>
Just like the above, this teaches bullies to stay away from you. That they are better-off leaving you alone.
Counter-Attack
Bullies usually only target those who are vulnerable and who they perceived as weak. The quicker you get this notion out of their heads the better. If they throw a verbal assault in your direction, then counter attack this with your own comment. Not necessarily an insult, but say something that would at least make them think twice about targeting you next time.
Some bullies may try to intimidate you physically by squaring up to you or subtle actions such as putting their arm around you. This is threatening behavior from someone you don’t get along with. You shouldn’t back down and make it clear to them to not lay a finger on you, otherwise you’re liable to defend yourself.
Excerpt from <http://www.mightyfighter.com>
Be confident on how you handle yourself especially in front of bullies. Don't be an easy target!
He who hesitates is lost
All bullies — whether they’re in the school yard or the prison yard or the workplace — first test the waters by saying or doing something provocative and then very carefully gauge your reaction. Responding with hesitancy shows the bully you’d make an ideal target.
When you respond confidently, a bully is far more likely to categorize you as someone who’d make a lousy target. For example, if you were presenting an idea in a group meeting and someone rudely interrupted you, you could put your hand out in front of you as though you were stopping traffic and say, “Excuse me. I wasn’t finished. How about this: you grant me the courtesy of letting me finish and I promise not to interrupt you when you’re talking?” Then smoothly continue speaking where you left off.
Check this link for more <http://www.businessnewsdaily.com>
Below two advice I have experienced personally. I was in a company that practice work ethics in general but I was in a project that has it's own rules and bullying culture. I did my due diligence so they kicked me out of the project, good thing I have some few friends in power who provided me a new project within the same organization that practice real "respect for the individual".
These two advice are towards your self value vs where you stand. If it is something that you can not change (beyond your power and influence) and you did your due diligence... it isn't worth your sanity, you have to leave.
Ask yourself ‘why do you need to stick up for yourself’?
Is it that you are under personal attack or is there something unfair or unreasonable going on Are you overloaded or is there some kind of favoritism going on ? Take sometime to think about this and figure out what’s really going on and access whether you want to stick around or not. If it really doesn’t work for you – and you don’t get what you want or think you deserve – leave!
Think about the culture you’re in.
What is the culture there? Is it individually focused and sympathetic to the employee? Doesyour boss care about you and give you the time you deserve? What’s HR’s reputation – do they help people confidentially and support them through their challenges? Or is HR outsourced? What is your feeling about this culture and does it work for you? If office bullying is ingrained and accepted in the culture then maybe this organisation isn't the right one for you.
Excerpt from <http://www.positionignition.coml>
Build Your Network of Supporters
Just like war, you need allies. Build your own network in the organization you are in. Office politics is real. Just like a knife, it's neither bad or good. It depends how the person will use it and for what purpose. Either to cut fruits or to kill someone. You need allies to support you and the goal of your team. So don't forget nurturing your network.If you like this, share it!
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